From Me to You

Embrace true self, Faith, Follow own path, Growth, Happiness, Never give up, Self love, Transformation, Vulnerability, writing

Hi all,

I hope you are all well. I am back home now and feeling great to be back. I joke as I say this as when I say home I mean back to writing which is part of my home. As I said in my earlier post I have been busy with helping support more clients in my work as a mental health counsellor, following my spiritual path, getting our home even more organised and generally busy enjoying myself.

As I look back, especially in the last year I reflect on how much I have grown psychologically and spiritually. As I always say, nothing has happened overnight or from a flash of magic. It is the result of continuously working with myself and for myself. It is no longer about knowing what I need to do, it is just a natural, organic process of simply flowing with what is coming into my life and being open to everything.

I welcome the challenges. I know from experience that it is in these challenges that I show myself and the world what I am capable of. I can utilise not only my skills and strengths but my immer strength.

To quote a lovely lady that I met today “you are a strong character” and “resilient” and yes I take the compliments thank you. She really sees me as a person and how regardless of what is thrown at me or put into my path I deal with it, learn from it and help to empower others by doing so. I know my spiritual path has now brought me to another strong place and that is that I am ready to say thank you. Thank you to the people that throw things in my path, try and knock me of my path and anything else supposedly negative against me.

The difference is where I am at in terms of my own inner being, my own core, me and I am in a beautiful place. The beauty being the beauty of my soul. The soul is a place deep within, the real essence of who you are and in reality you. The best way for me to explain where I am going with this is to share a story of years ago. I remember, when writing my book one day saying that however much people try and hurt me, no matter what they do they can never destroy my spirit. I wrote that back then however it is only recently that I really understand the magnitude of that statement.

In simple terms, what people try and put on you or throw at you is just on the surface. Although you are hurt, upset, sometimes traumatised the pain can only go so deep. Even when the pain feels unbearable you do bear it and you do deal with it and you do move on. This is because the true depth of who you are, at the deepest level, at your core, your soul, your spirit is pure and this can never be destroyed.

I was just looking for a quote from “The power of now” by Ekhart Tolle however it is in my other bag so I will put this in another post. In my work as a counsellor I never will accept when a client or anyone says they are broken. I accept this is how they may feel however there is a negative connotation with this in so much as saying “I am broken, hence I can not be fixed, hence I am nothing”. No one is nothing and I write this with a reflective mind as I once believed that I was exactly this. Looking back only now do I realise that I couldn’t possibly have been nothing despite this being how I felt as in order to have been nothing I could now not be me. Woah, I know this sounds deep but it is not as difficult to comprehend as you may initially think. You can not be nothing and something at the same time. Nothing can not suddenly turn into something. This is impossible and so it makes sense that although feelings of this magnitude are valid and real in the moment you can never, ever be nothing. Your spirit, your soul can never be destroyed so there will as always be a something within you and a giant something.

There will always be you and there will always be me and nobody and nothing can ever take you away from you. Even if you can not feel or believe this right now, you will.

I was called a survivor today and I wouldn’t take it on board. The lady I met with said that I was a victim and now I am a survivor. I said firm and proud “no”. I was a victim, I was a survivor and now I am me.

From me to you with tons of love

Always

Sophie Marie

Connecting deeper to your core

Belief, Hope, Inspire, Minimalism, Self love, Share the love, Uncategorized

As I looked back to see how long it has been since my last post, I realised that I still had a draft post which I had forgotten to publish. I think I was waiting for a photo and then forgot in the midst of life at the moment. Forget the photo for now I have just sent it out.

I have been thinking about how I have not been writing for quite a while. To be honest, with the challenges I have going on at the moment I have been focusing on these and as such I have felt a bit stuck about posting however much I wanted to. I have felt a barrier which I have not liked but have accepted. The positive is that I have been working really hard on these current life challenges, I am no longer prepared to be silent or to keep my voice hidden, me hidden as I do not deserve to hide. I truly believe that all of this is happening for a reason and that I need to face and come to terms with how life was previously before I chose me and my freedom. I let out a deeper breath. I know there is work to be done here and it will come out when it is ready.

A friend of mine had to cancel coffee and catch up this morning, I was disappointed as this was something for me, time away from everything that I had given to myself and was looking forward to. I am still doing what I would have done and just had a nice stroll through the park just reflecting on life, nature and myself and I am treating myself to a coffee whilst I write. With funds as they are at the moment coffee is a big luxury however one coffee will be ok as I need and deserve this time for me, to reflect, to offload, to come to terms with things, to release. I need to be with myself today and love myself more.

I am really happy that I am still meditating every single night before bed and have also increased to sometimes during the day as well. I truly love meditation and how it makes me feel. It really is something that you build on and learn to build into your life with other kinds of self care and I know it is something that I would like to expand on in many ways. It is a way of keeping a protective barrier around you, it enables you to go deeper within yourself and almost like digging really deep within yourself and giving yourself a big hug. That is how I describe it anyway. I guess for me it connects to feeling closer to God and I am learning more every day what I think that means for me. I feel that this feeling of being closer to God and more protected going through struggles and challenges is me being closer to myself. When I used to hear in church about God being in you I never could connect with that concept however more recently I have felt more connection. I feel God is around/in me and I am around/in God as God for me is a higher, deeper state of being and I know that I have reached this deeper state of being lately. I have connected even deeper to myself and I have found that as this has happened I have felt so much less isolated.

I feel that the isolation I have felt is an isolation from some parts of myself and because I have still not got deep enough in myself and with myself. I do feel connected to myself and thankfully have done for a while however I now feel a deeper connection as I know I am connecting and getting in touch even more with my true being, my true self and this is where the isolation dissipates. I am feeling what I want more and more and what I feel I would like to be doing in my life at the moment, what is calling to me at my core.

I have been putting out a few more of our personal items around our home and this has felt so good. It has been lovely and so exciting to see items that have been packed away put out on display and looking at our home as a whole with all the aspects of it. I really love our home and all of the work that I am doing in it. I saved a shelf from a vintage bookcase that I bought a while ago as the shelf itself is stunning. It is very plain however the colour of it will look beautiful against the dark purple walls and I am going to look in a while for some brackets to hold the shelf up. I have the idea in my mind and I would like to try and get that designed this weekend if not today. I have an industrial hanging light, very subdued on the wall in my living room alcove and my idea now is to put the shelf near this light and display some other items of ours on this area. I get creative ideas for items that I may have saved a long time ago or that had previously been used elsewhere and I can then visualise giving them a new life in a different place. This excites me greatly, this is when I can connect with my deeper self, my truest self as I feel like a kid in a sweet shop after having eaten all of the sweets also. I love the feeling.

I feel at home writing and I feel very blessed that I am able to write and also that I dare to write. I do not filter what I am writing as I want it to be just as it is when it comes out of me, real and raw as nothing else really fits with me or feels right. It is not about trying to sound good or intelligent or anything, it is simply me taking out what is in my brain and putting it on down on paper or as in right now on a laptop. I know I should be writing more and not stopping when life gets tough however I am still learning as we all are so I am not going to beat myself up about that. I have made some huge steps over the last month and ones which I am truly proud of however in all honestly despite me saying this it also fills me with anxiety literally as I write about it as I do know that I have not processed all of this yet. As I say this I realise that this is probably what is causing my anxiety, I know there is a lot to reflect on and accept and process and then in time feel, grieve for and then let go and this will also take me to another level.

I have been getting rid of more things in the house, trying to sell a few bits and donating others to charity which helps others as well as myself as I do connect more with an organised, minimal space. For me organised is not about control, it is about making life easier for myself having a space for things and knowing where things are, only being surrounded by what I need and or love and also about respect. Respect for our items in so far as being able to see them, really see them and treasuring them as I do. It is about my self worth also. It is like the tidy house tidy mind attitude however I believe also for me that it is tidy mind tidy house. When I am feeling connected with myself I like our home to look more organised, it is easier, easier to keep tidy, easier to clean, just easier and calm and with it all being decorated and designed to my personality, it just feels right and natural and free. I feel free.

I am really happy to be writing, I love how I can just type literally what comes up in my brain and in doing so release me as well as connect me. I would like to write more in different ways and I hope to be able to fulfil this for myself. It all comes from me and it all comes from you. Only we can do it and we have to do it not only for ourselves but for others, to help show them the way, to encourage, to inspire, to pass on. We must always pass on as you never know when you need someone to pass on to you. Lets make life better for everyone, share what you know and others will do the same. We all benefit from other people, others ideas, others skills and experience and others love.

Share the love always

Sophie Marie xx