Helping others

Art, Belief, domestic abuse, Expressions of art, Faith, Growth, Helping, Helping others, Hope, Inspirational cycle, Inspire, Kindness, Nature, Reconnecting, Share yourself, support, writing

Hi all, it’s good to be here. I hope you are all keeping well and if you are currently being challenged as I am then I hope you have some support to keep you on your path.

I think I have a previous post about this however my desire to help people just keeps growing stronger. I support children, teenagers and adults in my work as a mental health counsellor which I love. This is a different kind of desire. This comes from deep down, deep within my soul. When I am going through challenges in my life, my opportunity for growth, this is when the desire burns stronger. I spoke to a lovely friend of mine the other day about my ideas for helping support more people. When I told her some of my ideas she said how kind and selfless they were. I know this was a compliment, however I actually disagree slightly in that on some level I feel that helping in these extra ways will help me also and so can not be purely selfless. I guess the difference now is that I am not trying to make myself ‘feel better’. I just empathise with people and their challenges, especially when those challenges leave you feeling isolated. This is a feeling I have had many times and I know how hard it is. I also now know that reaching out to others is a way of connecting. There is a deeper will to want people to know that by offering what you can, a simple message of encouragement or small token that ‘you are not alone’.

To feel this compassion from people is a feeling that can not be replicated. At Christmas time, my daughter and I were invited to an event held by Harv (domestic abuse charity) where we were shown all the donations that people had left for Christmas presents. It was very emotional for me as it was a very powerful message that people who had never met you wanted you to know that they care, you are in their thoughts and to remind you that you are not alone. There is no greater feeling.

The truth is, no one is alone. We are all connected to one another, to nature, to our universe. We either do not realise this yet or we have become detached, disconnected. The good news is that we can all connect again. Disconnection is temporary and in a way not even real. It is more of a perceived feeling as we can never truly be disconnected to who we are at our core and if we keep that with us always this will always keep us going. I feel the need to reiterate this as it is a very powerful statement. “We can never be disconnected from our core. If we keep that with us always, this will always keep us going”. I love this.

I can feel the flow more now in my words. Sometimes it takes time for the flow, sometimes it comes immediately. I just remember that it comes when it is ready, when I settle into myself and into my thoughts. When I am in the moment, in the here and now and being mindful. I can only be me now.

I just remembered what I started my post about and that was helping others. I am reading a book I got from a charity book shop in Hexham about compassion and it really is helping me cement my desire to help in a bigger way than I currently am. I know there is something a lot bigger in me and the ideas and thoughts are all coming to the forefront. I need to collect all of my ideas and put them together in the best way to showcase empathy, compassion and a willingness to support. I know I will use my art within this as art has got me to where I am now. Art was a huge influence for me. Art helped me to connect to my feelings and to reconnect with myself. Art helped save my life and I owe a lot to the arts.

I am going to put together an inspiration board to collate my ideas and thoughts and see how I can best put forward my plan. I want to show what can be done in your local community, how every little helps and how if we all share a bit of ourselves then we can all make this a better world for us all.

With hope and healing

Sophie Marie xx

Supporting others through Domestic Abuse

support

It has been a week since I wrote. I am not happy about this. I am busy helping my daughter with has taken me away from my site, probably away from myself. I spoke to a children’s organisation the other day and I broke down saying I was trying so hard to keep strong. This very helpful and supportive lady told me that part of being strong is sometimes having a good cry. I cry as I write this, sat in a coffee shop and aware of how powerful domestic abuse is. At the moment it is hard and I cry, I feel sad.

The added anguish that goes along with this is that I started to worry about what I should write, not write. For the first time since I set up my website (for me and all of you) I questioned myself and was almost thinking about filtering myself. I knew what was happening. I was reverting back to being scared of simply being myself and no more. I reiterate again and again to myself and anyone that needs to hear this. It is my (your) site, my (your) life and we can do and say what we want.

We have a voice and I have had my week of silence, no more. The goal of my website was so that I could connect with people through my writing and my art and hopefully inspire people to speak out, to be themselves, to use their voice.

I was given a voice and I am not afraid to use it. I have been busy this week talking to various agencies and charities to get help and support again for myself and my daughter. Thankfully, all of the people I have spoken to have been incredibly supportive and helped in the right way. I have a few, difficult jobs that I need to do this weekend however I know deep in my heart it is the right thing to do. I will not be bullied or threatened by anyone. Been there, done that, worn way too many t-shirts.

We are not here to play games with people, especially not games that we never asked to play. We are not here to live life the way someone else wants us too. We are not here to witness abuse and not do anything about it. We need to all help one another to use our voices to speak out, to tell our story, to make a stand and say abusers need to be held accountable for their actions.

I know I have spoken on a previous blog about how strongly I feel about the laws for emotional abuse to be changed and all of this is just propelling me forward with this. I will tell many people about my story, my life, and I hope you will feel able to do the same.

It is like anything, it is hard for one person to fight for something. It is much easier to all stand together and say no. This is not acceptable. This has to stop. We should not have to be dealing with this again.

May we all fight together.

May we feel the fear and do it anyway.

Do not let anyone take your voice.

Do not hide.

Get support for yourself and your children and pass it on.

We all need the help and support.

Share helpful information and supportive organisations.

Share supportive charities.

I will share my own list (from my local area) that I have found useful and supportive through personal and professional experience.

As I write again I feel more connected. I am not withdrawing or hibernating. I am still standing strong. I can be sad and strong. I can be a myriad of emotion because I am me.

I am me. I will not apologise for this. I will embrace being me.

Embrace who you are and how brave and strong you are even when you do not feel like you are. To experience any domestic abuse you are all of these and so much more.

You are strong.

You are brave.

You are a role model.

You are loveable.

You are beautiful.

You have not done anything wrong.

You have a voice.

You are allowed to use your voice.

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE xxxxxx

If you need a hug I am sending you the biggest, warmest hug.

You will get through this because you are you and you can do this.

Gather your support network and use it often.

Sit in a coffee shop, even if you are on your own. Keep around people, it does not matter if you do not know them. It is about keeping social.

It is self protection. It is looking after yourself.

You deserve it. However many times someone has told you the opposite or something negative, tell yourself the opposite and/or something nice double or treble the amount. If you don’t believe it yet do it anyway and it will come in time.

Please feel free to comment or reach out. There is always someone to listen.

I thank myself for my courage, for never giving up and for being back writing. I believe in you to do the same.

With so much love and support

Sophie Marie xx