It has been way too long since I wrote. I am not going to beat myself up for it, it is what it is and I am here now. As I allow things to just be and embrace them for what they are and the timing of events I can keep faith that what I need will come to me when the time is ready. That said, on occasion I realise, as I did recently that if there are particular areas of my life that are not growing it is up to me to look into this. I have often wondered why I was only achieving a certain number of clients in my business and why this was. It was then that I realised I had a blockage.
Money for me has a negative connotation attached to it. My experience of money was that it was used to control and to buy my attention amongst other things. I lived a previous life of being ‘bought’. The presents all being a way of feeding anothers ego rather than coming from a place of love. I learnt the hard way, maybe the only way, that people who are genuinely being themselves do not have to ‘prove’ anything. They just are. Actions speak louder than words. I want people to show me they care and love me. Words are cheap.
Back to the money. Due to my negative experiences that I had attached in some ways to money, I was stuck in an unconscious cycle of money is bad. Money is greed. Money is control. The reality of this is that yes, sometimes it can be; however it is not a given. It is like saying all men/women are bad because we have had bad experiences with them. We get stuck in our own story that we tell ourselves and believe it to be fact. Anything that stems from a negative experience will never be fact or rational as we are coming from a place of high emotion. We are stuck in that experience, in that time. Only when we realise this can we start to question our own story, our own reality of a situation or in my case of a word. We can then free ourselves and make our own healthy narrative.
Since I became aware of my financial blockage I have been working on releasing this through meditation focusing on this area. I am reflecting why I have this block and the emotions connected to it. I can then work on manifesting financial freedom and abundance through meditation and unblocking my energy chakras. Since I have been putting my focus and positive energy into this I have five new clients.
I am aware that if you are reading this you may be thinking “what a load of rubbish”. I am not naive, I would have said the same thing years ago. What I want to point out is that I am not saying you can become unstuck and gain more financial freedom just by thinking about it and visualising it. This would be a very naive way of thinking. Life is not just going to hand you things on a silver platter whilst you sit on your backside wishing life to be different. I think this can sometimes be the misconception for people hearing and learning about working with the universe. Like anything in life, you can not just wish for a great job and get one without you having to do anything. It is about how you live your life. Life is about putting in the work, working on yourself, learning, learning from the mistakes. Life is not passive however life is twofold. If you are working on becoming a better version of yourself, being more aware, putting yourself out there, applying for jobs i.e. , improving in the meantime, growing your skill level that is the first step. The next step and probably the hardest for most people is faith. I don’t necessarily mean faith in god unless this is what you believe. I mean faith in whatever that means for you. Faith in yourself. Faith in others. Faith in the universe. Faith and patience. You may think and I often think the same, that you have put in all this work, done everything that you can think of to achieve what you want and nothing is happening. You don’t yet have this ‘job’ or ‘relationship’. The universe is not trying to torture you, it is teaching you. It is working for you even if you can not see it. I am experiencing this at the moment. I know how much I am doing everyday to work on myself and how I feel I am ‘ready’ for a relationship, I have to trust and have faith that if I do not have it yet the universe still has lessons for me to learn, other areas that I need to grow in, other things I need to achieve for ‘me’ before this happens. I have to be patient, well try at least with faith that what I ‘need’ will come when it is ready. It is not about what I want, it is about what I need.
Feels really good to be back writing. Tapping back into myself and what makes me me. It helps me open myself up more, to myself and in turn to others and to the universe. I will try and catch up with more writing that I want to talk about. Off to meditate now, feels like the natural progression to this blog. Thank you for letting me connect with you all and in turn to myself. I need this. I need to write. I feel more connected. I feel love. I feel all of you.
With much love and connection