Living my best life

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Hi, I hope you are all keeping well. It has been way too long since I wrote however all for very good reasons. Quite simply, I have been extremely busy with new adventures, new artistic endeavours and loving myself and my life. I am happy to say that I am blissfully happy and I am loving the path that I am on.

When I say path what that means to me is my spiritual path that I have been following for some time now. I have been working with myself for many years however it is fair to say that in the last six months or so my life has changed dramatically for the better.

I am not saying it wasn’t good before. Let me try and explain this in a different way. It feels as though all of the hard work I have put into myself and my life/work is all coming together and is continuing to do so. It really is true that all good things come to those that wait. My saying was “all good things come to those that wait, the best things come to those that wait the longest”. I think now it should be “the best things come to those that wait and work the longest” . Nothing is going to land on your lap and you can not blame anyone or anything if your life is not as you would like it to be. Noone but yourself can change you or your life path. The great thing is anyone is capable of it.

Everything in my life feels so natural. I am not questioning what I am or am not doing, should be doing. I am open to whatever comes into my life and I have the freedom to choose what I accept into my life dependent on how that may or may not fit with my life. I have many things going on in my life now however the thread running through everything I do is spirituality.

A good friend of mine keeps saying that I am glowing and I truly feel this in myself so I am obviously radiating this peaceful energy. The feeling is very personal to me however the easiest way to describe it is to say that I am totally at peace. I thought I had found peace a few years ago and I do believe that I did. This is peace on a higher and deeper level. This is peace where nothing can penetrate. Of course things can upset me, the difference is that it doesn’t stick. I remember when I wrote about the feeling I get from meditation and that for me it is like having a protective shield permanently around me. Things can hit me but they bounce off. When you have peace and you have connected to your inner most core you just know. You feel it. It is something so powerful, so magical, so inspiring and yet so simple. This is what I find so precious. We all have within us this same ability, to reach this same level of consciousness, this same level of peace, of light and energy. We are all the same, we are all one. It is when we start to realise and believe this that life as you know it takes on another, deeper more meaningful meaning. We have been given the amazing, precious gift of life. We should all be living this life.

I learnt this about a year or so ago when I was constantly listening to motivational speakers and it is something that will stay with me forever. Basic but very effective. A thought is never anything but a thought. You have to put the work in to change the thought to an action. Nothing can ever come of a thought.

I have so much to update you about which is really exciting for me. I look forward to filling you in on the exciting things I have been up to and also the upcoming trip to Northumbria that I am currently planning.

I am blessed and happy that I have you all to share this with and hopefully to inspire you in connecting with your true self.

Much excitement and love

Sophie

Connecting deeper to your core

Belief, Hope, Inspire, Minimalism, Self love, Share the love, Uncategorized

As I looked back to see how long it has been since my last post, I realised that I still had a draft post which I had forgotten to publish. I think I was waiting for a photo and then forgot in the midst of life at the moment. Forget the photo for now I have just sent it out.

I have been thinking about how I have not been writing for quite a while. To be honest, with the challenges I have going on at the moment I have been focusing on these and as such I have felt a bit stuck about posting however much I wanted to. I have felt a barrier which I have not liked but have accepted. The positive is that I have been working really hard on these current life challenges, I am no longer prepared to be silent or to keep my voice hidden, me hidden as I do not deserve to hide. I truly believe that all of this is happening for a reason and that I need to face and come to terms with how life was previously before I chose me and my freedom. I let out a deeper breath. I know there is work to be done here and it will come out when it is ready.

A friend of mine had to cancel coffee and catch up this morning, I was disappointed as this was something for me, time away from everything that I had given to myself and was looking forward to. I am still doing what I would have done and just had a nice stroll through the park just reflecting on life, nature and myself and I am treating myself to a coffee whilst I write. With funds as they are at the moment coffee is a big luxury however one coffee will be ok as I need and deserve this time for me, to reflect, to offload, to come to terms with things, to release. I need to be with myself today and love myself more.

I am really happy that I am still meditating every single night before bed and have also increased to sometimes during the day as well. I truly love meditation and how it makes me feel. It really is something that you build on and learn to build into your life with other kinds of self care and I know it is something that I would like to expand on in many ways. It is a way of keeping a protective barrier around you, it enables you to go deeper within yourself and almost like digging really deep within yourself and giving yourself a big hug. That is how I describe it anyway. I guess for me it connects to feeling closer to God and I am learning more every day what I think that means for me. I feel that this feeling of being closer to God and more protected going through struggles and challenges is me being closer to myself. When I used to hear in church about God being in you I never could connect with that concept however more recently I have felt more connection. I feel God is around/in me and I am around/in God as God for me is a higher, deeper state of being and I know that I have reached this deeper state of being lately. I have connected even deeper to myself and I have found that as this has happened I have felt so much less isolated.

I feel that the isolation I have felt is an isolation from some parts of myself and because I have still not got deep enough in myself and with myself. I do feel connected to myself and thankfully have done for a while however I now feel a deeper connection as I know I am connecting and getting in touch even more with my true being, my true self and this is where the isolation dissipates. I am feeling what I want more and more and what I feel I would like to be doing in my life at the moment, what is calling to me at my core.

I have been putting out a few more of our personal items around our home and this has felt so good. It has been lovely and so exciting to see items that have been packed away put out on display and looking at our home as a whole with all the aspects of it. I really love our home and all of the work that I am doing in it. I saved a shelf from a vintage bookcase that I bought a while ago as the shelf itself is stunning. It is very plain however the colour of it will look beautiful against the dark purple walls and I am going to look in a while for some brackets to hold the shelf up. I have the idea in my mind and I would like to try and get that designed this weekend if not today. I have an industrial hanging light, very subdued on the wall in my living room alcove and my idea now is to put the shelf near this light and display some other items of ours on this area. I get creative ideas for items that I may have saved a long time ago or that had previously been used elsewhere and I can then visualise giving them a new life in a different place. This excites me greatly, this is when I can connect with my deeper self, my truest self as I feel like a kid in a sweet shop after having eaten all of the sweets also. I love the feeling.

I feel at home writing and I feel very blessed that I am able to write and also that I dare to write. I do not filter what I am writing as I want it to be just as it is when it comes out of me, real and raw as nothing else really fits with me or feels right. It is not about trying to sound good or intelligent or anything, it is simply me taking out what is in my brain and putting it on down on paper or as in right now on a laptop. I know I should be writing more and not stopping when life gets tough however I am still learning as we all are so I am not going to beat myself up about that. I have made some huge steps over the last month and ones which I am truly proud of however in all honestly despite me saying this it also fills me with anxiety literally as I write about it as I do know that I have not processed all of this yet. As I say this I realise that this is probably what is causing my anxiety, I know there is a lot to reflect on and accept and process and then in time feel, grieve for and then let go and this will also take me to another level.

I have been getting rid of more things in the house, trying to sell a few bits and donating others to charity which helps others as well as myself as I do connect more with an organised, minimal space. For me organised is not about control, it is about making life easier for myself having a space for things and knowing where things are, only being surrounded by what I need and or love and also about respect. Respect for our items in so far as being able to see them, really see them and treasuring them as I do. It is about my self worth also. It is like the tidy house tidy mind attitude however I believe also for me that it is tidy mind tidy house. When I am feeling connected with myself I like our home to look more organised, it is easier, easier to keep tidy, easier to clean, just easier and calm and with it all being decorated and designed to my personality, it just feels right and natural and free. I feel free.

I am really happy to be writing, I love how I can just type literally what comes up in my brain and in doing so release me as well as connect me. I would like to write more in different ways and I hope to be able to fulfil this for myself. It all comes from me and it all comes from you. Only we can do it and we have to do it not only for ourselves but for others, to help show them the way, to encourage, to inspire, to pass on. We must always pass on as you never know when you need someone to pass on to you. Lets make life better for everyone, share what you know and others will do the same. We all benefit from other people, others ideas, others skills and experience and others love.

Share the love always

Sophie Marie xx

 

 

Use your fighting spirit

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Catching up with friends over the last few days has been great and what I know of my close friends is that they know how I am feeling as it is written all over my face and screams from my body language. My friends have commented on how they see my fighting spirit, my passion and my commitment to what I know is right and just. I have been talking for a while about how I can help support more people going through or recovering from domestic abuse and I know deep in my heart and soul that this is my life mission. My friend this morning after seeing and hearing ‘me’ said “you are the champion for the people”. We laughed however I was not joking. I have made quite a few decisions recently about what I want to achieve through my art and creativity and I now know what I want and the path could not be cleared. I may not know the logistics of everything yet however that does not stop me knowing what I want to achieve and where I want to go. I will not anything stand in my way. I am doing this for everyone.

I have decided that I am going to donate a percentage from the sales of my art to helping support people that have been affected by domestic abuse. I know that I will do this. I was saying to my friends this week that once I have in my gut something that I need and or have to do then I never stop. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, I will always do it and I will not stop working on my goal.

I visited my local priest the other week and he helped me with my faith and how I need to take my power back. This was a day of emotional release, a day where I needed to cry a lot and talk things over to give me extra strength to keep doing what I am doing. He helped me to understand that I was not alone with these challenges and that I will get through them with God’s help. I believed this and do believe this. I have definitely connected more to God over the last few months and I feel more protected than ever. I know I have the strength of more than myself and this helps me to keep strong for myself and my daughter and for you.

Work and career wise I am getting more help and support in the new year with trying to grow my counselling practice more. I know I work to a high standard and I am so proud of all of the work that I do with children and adults as a mental health counsellor. To see my clients change and grow in confidence and self esteem is a true blessing and when they are ready to use their wings to fly they are then able to pass on what they have learnt to others so that people are always ‘passing it on’. The world will always be a better place when we all ‘pass on’ what we know, our skills, our learning to others to create the ‘ripple effect’ of life.

I know I could be helping support a lot more people and I would like to do this, I just need some help with reaching out to more people so that I can help other people embrace who they are and start making a difference to not only their own but others lives. When you are able to be truly yourself and are not apologising for this but embracing this then you are in a position to inspire and inspirational people are a godsend, they are like the shining stars of the world, the beacons of goodness and wholesomeness (is this even a word, oh well) It is about using your gift and using it for good, to help and to inspire. If you use your gift in the right way you will always help just by being you.

I keep thinking that I would like to work in a womens refuge or something like that so that I am able to best support at the deepest level. I am always frontline, my strength is my communication, my empathy, my intuition, my encouragement.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and was telling him about my new website and the aim of what I am doing. He could see and feel my passion for what I was talking about and my determination and love for what I am doing and how I want to inspire people. He looked at me and said “you are inspirational aren’t you”. I was deeply flattered as I knew that he really meant what he said. Our past should not define us nor our future as this is not yet here. We should be defined by who we are, who we really are at our core and who we are as our gift of life and with using our gift. What do you put out into the world?

Strive to always put your best foot forward and by this I do not mean that you have to be perfect or be at the top of your goal or yourself, just simply by keep putting one foot in front of the other, moving forward even if that means crawling or even shuffling. If this is all that you can manage right now that’s enough for now as each minute step will put you one step closer to you and what you want to achieve/how you want to live your life.

We are here to live not to exist.

Keep fighting, keep your strength and if you feel you are slipping then this is the time to reach out for help and support to get you back on the track.

It is ok to slip of the track sometimes, it is inevitable. Do what you need to do, rest, use that fighting spirit deep down within you until you are back on that track,

You have to get back on the track.

Much love and respect

Sophie Marie xx

The Power of Meditation

Meditation, Self love, Self respect, Uncategorized

My connection with meditation started a few years ago with meditation drop in sessions at the Buddhist centre. The voice and words of the Buddhist monk hypnotized me in a way that stuck with me and even though I did not keep a regular routine I never forgot the feeling.

About a year ago (or was it two) I was lucky enough to attend a meditation course as part of a support package that I received through a domestic abuse charity. It was one of the most powerful experiences, a feeling of true connectedness, real honest engagement and a collective feeling and embodiment of hope.

On one occassion whilst in the middle of a mindful yoga practice, I had a huge awakening. We were told to do as little or as much as we were able to do of the moves, to work with our own body. This one moment I felt different, emotional, different feelings ran through me and I couldn’t stop them.

I consciously limited my movement to what was comfortable and did not push myself as I always would. This was a strange feeling for me however it felt good, kind and loving to myself. It was at this pinnacle moment that my life changed for the better. I had finally got to the point where my mind (not my body) said “no more”. No more pushing myself too hard, doing more and more. It was in this moment that I realised how hard I had been on myself all my life, how much I pushed myself and I hadn’t realised quite how much until that moment. It was very emotional for me and I shared the emotion and the impact with the others in my group. They were all so supportive and I felt very safe. Safe to be in the room and more importantly safe to be myself.

A big down period followed which was the hardest drop I had experienced or so it felt. It was at this time that I started to grieve. I was grieving for what I had failed to give to myself, the lack of self love, the lack of understanding, the lack of compassion, the lack of respect. I was grieving myself. It wasn’t the first time that I had grieved over myself so I was aware of the experience. I remember at that time saying that I felt like I had been running with lots and lots of horses and I was always up top with the other horses following me behind and then all of a sudden the horse at the top (me) came to a halt, a stumble almost and then a stop and then everyone or as it felt at the time everything came crashing down on top of me. It was no wonder I felt so down and for a long period of time, it was a huge load that had come crashing down into me.

Fast forward to my life now and back to meditation. I am going through quite a challenging time at the moment however I have still been meditating every night and it is still having a massive effect on me. It is not a long meditation, sometimes ten minutes sometimes a little longer however the time period is irrelevant. It is the fact that I am giving myself that time, that self love, showing myself that level of self respect and what it does is almost like having a protective bubble around you. It is a healthy, safe protection with good energy and it radiates from me. The difficult things still touch me however they sort of bounce off rather than filter. The negativity from external sources can not penetrate and with every ping back comes an increase in confidence and energy and light.

There is a feeling, deep within me and that feeling is one of peace and love and happiness. I am at one with God, the world, people, myself, everything. It is a feeling of deep, true connectedness and it feels truly amazing. I said to myself today as I was walking home in the cold, crisp air “you know you are truly, truly happy when you are going through really challenging times yet you still feel and know you are the luckiest person in the world and blessed”. This feeling is priceless. I am always truly blessed.

I feel blessed to be here, to be writing to you, to be feeling and seeing and loving. I am free.

With much love and true blessings

Sophie Marie xxx

The Art of Minimalism

Interior design, Minimalism, Uncategorized

I have learnt over the last few years the importance of less is more, in various contexts and I have found it to be my most effective way of living. Using art as a first example, the feeling of wanting to add a little bit more to a piece despite knowing deep down that you shouldn’t. You go with the surface feeling rather than the gut ‘no more’ and your painting no longer works.

Having moved from a much larger house to the house we live in now I have been through the process of reduction. Getting rid of old baby equipment, surplus tools, unused accessories. I love the process. At the time of our move two years ago I had to donate the majority of our possessions to my local Womens Refuge. I didn’t then have time to sell, however I was able to get rid of what we no longer needed and help support people that were struggling so a win win for me.

I watched something (I can’t recall the name) a few years ago where someone said “Only keep things in your home that you need and or love”. A need being a real need not a “well I need that in case …” It was quite a liberating watch for me as I truly believed and believe in this and have been living by this ever since.

If I don’t love something I do not want it in our home. I would rather have a few items of decor around the house than lots of stuff just for the sake of it.

I am not a total minimalist, I wouldn’t live in a shed (claustrophia not for me) however for me minimalism is about only being surrounded by what speaks to me, what excites us, what fits with our personality. Anything else feels stifling and unnecessary. I live by purpose and in depth. I am not comfortable in surface level, either general weather chit chat or anything that does not feel real or genuine.

I value freedom.

Freedom of speech. Freedom of choice. Freedom to live how I choose to live. Freedom to be surrounded by what I choose. Freedom to be me.

If you look around your home, ask yourself:-

Am I surrounded by ‘stuff’ or am I living free?

With freedom and hope

Sophie Marie x