Good Karma

Be thankful, Belief, Faith, Freedom, Good karma, Growth, Helping, Helping others, Hope, Inspire, Kindness, Learning, Letting go, Pass it on, Self love, Share the love, Share yourself, Small steps, Spirituality, writing

Hi, how are you all. I have finally got my laptop fixed and so I am back writing after a while. Unfortunately I am not one of those people that can happily type away on a mobile. I am old school and I have to feel the touch of the keyboard, it is how I write and how I can maintain my flow. It feels good already. I always feel even closer to myself when I write and there is no better feeling. There is so much that I want to write about however rather than overwhelm myself I will practice what I preach and take it one step at a time, one blog at a time.

I want this first piece to be about karma however not the negative kind. Good karma and I would like to talk about how life and the universe is coming together with me and revealing itself. There is a lot to discuss so bear with me as I do like to go around the houses to tell a story. Hey, its what makes me me and I am good with it. There is a faith that I believe is missing with lots of people, I used to be one of them. Now when I say I used to be one of them, I mean I was always positive however at times of extreme difficulty I have not always possessed the ability to just simply have faith and believe that everything will turn out ok, turn out as it is supposed to. Until this year. Life really changed forever. I know I have experienced that many times, many different periods of growth, changes and increases of confidence and self esteem. This is different. This is real, genuine and certainly life changing and something so important that I want to share with you all.

I have written about this a couple of times however I know this will be something that will keep coming in to my blogs as it is so profound and so intrinsically part of my life now, part of me. This is spirituality, being at one with the world, with nature, with the universe rather than feeling like you are separate, alone and disconnected. Now I am no way a master on this, I know what I know based on my own experience of it and how I feel the world around me. I understand more now since I was drawn to reading and through my spiritual reading across different areas which also is an instrinsic part of who I am. Reading now also makes me feel more alive, more connected. I will keep doing what I am doing until I no longer enjoy it. I do not believe that you have to always keep at something just because you started it. Some things like some people are meant to come into your life for a period of time, everything does not and will not be forever and now I can happily say that I am at peace with this. I am sure in some areas this may not come as easy for me however I will take what I already know and feel and apply it to these other areas. I do not have to know everything and I do not need to know how things will turn out, if they will work out. I feel happy now to just do what I want, when I want with who I want. I don’t mean without a care in the world attitude, just having the freedom to be me in whatever way that is in the moment and being ok with that. I reiterate that I am no master of any of these and I do not have to be. Noone is a true master at anything, like no one is perfect. There will always be more to learn, more growth, more things to experience. You and I are ever evolving so we will never be a finished product. Why would we want to be? How boring would that be? To know everything already and have nothing left to learn. This is what I would equate to being a robot and I am not a robot.

I just realised that I have been writing away and I have not even mentioned good karma yet and that is ok. Writing, like life does not always go from one to 100 in a straight line, I may go up and down, to the side, high up then a few down or in whichever combination. It is what it is and I am what I am. I will get to it but for now I just want to write, to release, to speak and hopefully be heard. That is a new admission for me which I feel I need to stop at. This is where I would say (in my counselling work) “that sounds huge”. I feel it is. I am always listening. I like to talk when I feel comfortable to talk and with my friends this is easy however I still need to say outloud sometimes, anytime “I want to be heard”. “I want to be listened to and I want to be heard”. I have definitely got better in this area and will not just be quiet if a friend starts to talk when I am, I will assert myself and speak a bit louder. I used to get mad at conversations of this nature and with some people I have found it impossible. People are so wrapped up in themselves that they want to be listened to and they are however they do not then pass that back as mutual respect. I have started to think to myself after one of these conversations that I would love to say “it would be nice if you would now ask about me, what I am up to etc” This is really honest by me and in all of my years I have never said this outloud although I am accepting in myself that this is what I am feeling and thinking. If you have a conversation with someone in the street, at home, wherever and the other person gives you respect and time and space to talk a while and be listened to, please stop and think for a moment. Do not take advantage. Offer the same back. Ask them about themselves. They, I, may be a great listener but I would also like to be listened to. It is not about saying well Im not very good at listening, I think that’s a cop out. It is about the simple act of making someone else feel valid. We all want to feel validated by other people, it is innate.

If you feel like you have got something from someone, whether that be a simple but effective smile, a nice comment, a listening ear, someone asking you how you are or about your day please pass it on. If you feel like you received something, give something back. This is so valid across life in general. It is not our life, just for us as some people still think. We are all part of life. We are life and as such we need to look after it, to look after each other. Be there for one another. Now I guess I should talk about good karma or else I will have to change the title of this blog.

Since having the deep, inner belief that everything will work out and to let go and just allow life to be, the universe is really working with me. I went to Northumberland for half term and upon landing at Bardon Mill by train I realised that we were not in the right place I felt perhaps all my bus/train research had got a bit muddled. I needed to get to our YHA. There was a pub and nothing else. I went in to enquire and found out that to walk to the YHA would be a minimum of one hour, uphill and with a heavy rucksack, suitcase and my ten year old daughter in tow was a no no. After a lot of conversations with the lovely staff at the pub and another lady who said she would have driven us had she not been drinking already, one of the ladies working in the pub got her car and drove us to our hostel. From the moment I entered, I felt looked after and not alone. I had faith that we would get there and help came to hand. Whilst on the same trip, I was let off with money that I was short for the train and a free bus trip (the crazy AD122 bus journey,lets not go there). It was then that I felt more connected, not alone. I know for people it is really hard to believe that things will be ok, especially if they haven’t been for so long but trust me they will. Constantly hoping and praying it will be ok does not quite work the same. You have to learn to, as they say “let go and trust the process”. This is so true not just in counselling but in life. Once you surrender to what is and what will be, things seem to emerge in different ways. It is like the quote (sorry I don’t know the author of the quote) “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. So true. When you experience it for yourself you can say “I get it”. It all makes sense, it all slots together, naturally, organically the way it is supposed to.

I left my purse at home the other week and was stuck needing petrol to get me back home. No phone, no id, nothing. Whilst in the bank explaining my situation, hoping they would give me money without id, a lady came up to me and said “if they can’t give it to you, I will give you the money to get home”. I was really touched, she had heard my story. She heard me. Very powerful.

Thank you for all the people who think and feel that way and may they be a teacher to others who may not naturally be that way. We can all learn from each other. We just have to listen…..

With much love and hope

Sophie Marie xx

If you are waiting to become a finished product you are waiting for death

Darkness, Faith, Growth, Hope, Inner child, Inspire, Never give up, Reconnecting, Self love, Small steps, Vulnerability, writing

I am aware of the harsh title of this blog however it is time to start living your life now. We have all done it and said it, many times. “When I get a better job I will be sorted”. “When I lose weight life will be great”. This place, this time, this “when” is now and can only ever be now. We are not alive in the past nor in the future. If either of these places is how you travel through your life then stop and reflect on where you are going. It is only by being right here in this very moment and connecting with now that you touch ‘alive’. You touch life.

Reaching this level of consciousness, this level of awareness requires visiting some dark places. I am not going to lie and say this is easy however I know for a fact that it is never as bad as how you imagined it to be. The unknown always appears larger than it actually is. Getting to the point of knowing that something has to change, you have to change brings every emotion out of the woodwork.

There is a knowing deep inside of you that is calling you. It is not scientific or magical in that sense. It is something very beautiful. It is you.

Your true self, your younger self, your innocent self wants to meet up. You want to connect. You need to connect. Without connection there is a disconnect. With disconnection there is separation. With separation you are alone.

We all know that you can be in a room full of people and still be alone. It is a horrific feeling at times. Somewhere along the journey of your life you left a part(s) of yourself and they are missing you. They have been trying to tell you for a long time but you have not been listening. When you didn’t listen I cried. I still needed you so I tried to get your attention in different ways. When I shouted at you I hurt you. I am not sorry. I did that out of love, for you. I love you and I just wouldn’t stop trying to tell you until you heard me. That is what real love is. It is not flowers and chocolates. It is not dishonesty. It is honest and brave and relentless. It will never give up on you. You are just not listening, not open. You need to be open to receive. Open your heart to love. Open your heart to you.

Love

Sophie Marie x

Setting up an art/creative website

Art, Hope, Inspire, Kindness, Small steps, Uncategorized, Wordpress

It has been a couple of weeks now since I first registered for my new art website and purchased my new domain name sophiemarie.art. I always knew it would be a challenge. Help and support is always available (thanks WordPress) however the day to day additions, alterations and improvements needed to coincide with my goals for my site are a new challenge each and every time. The most recent being the addition of my buy now paypal button which took me numerous hours and conversations and immense frustration to achieve and this was in the end with the help of a couple of people, one being from WordPress. IT has never been my strong suit and I doubt it ever will be. I will always however want to know how to do something even if that means I need to learn it a few times. This then helps me grow as I can remember parts that I learned to help me with the next challenge.

I have now created a few pages, written numerous blog posts, displayed a few images of my art and interior and have a working paypal button. With the addition of more aspects of the webite I was able to assess the scheme that I had chosen (there have been lots of changes) to see if it was still working. Although I like the look of Hemmingway Revisited, it wasn’t displaying my images alongside my blog posts as I would like so I spent time yesterday researching the various schemes (again) and came to my new choice which I feel works better for me and looks more professional at the stage I am at. I know I have another choice lined up for when I have more of my art displayed on a portfolio as some of the other schemes are more geared towards art based/photo/creative websites.

I know I am progressing with the development as I am always looking to see how the site looks with each new addition and how that may translate to others looking at my site. I do have high standards which in the past have caused me a lot of stress however there is also the positive side of this. I know that I have to be really happy with something now to put it out for sale and for me that is all in the finer details. The art produced is one thing however the process throughout is paramount. The process of choosing the right frame with the right look, colour, finish, style and feel. Feel not just in an aesthetic sense but within. I have to see the finished article and say “yes, that’s it”. It has to give me that pull, that excitement where I know it is ready.

As an artist that uses her experiences and knowledge in everything that she does, I know that there is always a depth in all of my work. Like anything in my life, if it is important to me I will do it and I will do it 110%, to the best of my ability which I feel is a strength of mine. I would rather not put work out if I am not truly happy with each aspect as I feel it is a representation of myself and the standard that I hold for myself and for the people that buy my art. I want them to be happy with the whole piece not just the art itself, that is what takes the time, the patience and energy as it all has to run in succession. I want all aspects of my business to not only look professional but be professional. Each detail is important to me down to the layout of the site so that it represents the artist and businesswoman that I am.

I have often been called diligent which is nice as it shows me that people do see how much of myself I put into a project and how I will never give up. I always put my heart and soul into everything that I do and I hope that shows to others. When you buy my art, you buy the heart and soul, the knowledge, the motivation, the spirituality within it. More than ever I want to connect with more people through my work as an artist as well as in counselling and I feel like this is one step further to my goal.

I will never ask people to like and share my work for the sake of it or because I am offering you something free. If you do like my posts and/or my art great, your feedback is much appreciated and if there is something that speaks to you in one of my blogs then please pass it on to someone that you feel may benefit from these words.

If we all help one another, even a little then it all adds up to something monumental. Everything starts with one small step, everything starts with you.

Think about yourself as a greater force than just you. A huge lesson I have learnt quite recently is to always put yourself (or at least try to) out there and by doing this you help to create the ‘ripple effect’.

You learn and you pass it on then whoever that is received by can do the same. There are endless possibilities in creating good in the world. It really isn’t complicated or hard. You just have to start.

With much hope, kindness and love

 

Sophie Marie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say yes to rest

Say yes to rest, Small steps

It has been a couple of days since I wrote and it hasn’t been the same. I have missed writing. I have been feeling a little under the weather, tired and lacking my usual energy so I have spent time arranging furniture and looking at frame ideas for my other art pieces. I really wanted to create another piece tonight however we did not get home until late and I have spent an hour on a very tedious job, scraping glue off my skirting boards ready for the undercoat. I have given myself permission to leave this job until tomorrow morning when I hopefully will be fresh and ready to rock.

It is really hard not doing lots of work on the house and gallery this week as I am loving it so much and there is still quite a bit to do. I just have to accept that sometimes my body tells me I need rest and I have to stop being stubborn and just do it.

As I write now I feel like I could fall asleep so I know I need to rest, I also just want to get more work done. My positive is that I gave myself a small albeit tedious job to do and by achieving that I can start straight away tomorrow and get another section undercoated. It is another step and even when there are less steps taken, they are still all steps forward and that is progress. Even when you have to stop, just remind yourself that you are only stopping so that you can rest and start again stronger.

A few people saw parts of our home this weekend and they all said how much they like the colour scheme and how they like how my art is being displayed. They were really complimentary and I was so excited telling them about my plans, I can hear and feel my own passion as I talk to people and it feels amazing. I am really proud of what I am creating.

I sit and think to the future, more art that I will create and wonder what my next piece will look like, the texture, the flow. I am often thinking about different materials to use instead of canvas, I would like to try a few different ideas and see what works. You never know unless you try. If it doesn’t work, so what. At least I have tried and I am not afraid to try.

I hope to get some of my art pieces back from framing this week and I can hang them in my gallery. I can’t wait to see what they look like as they take on another dimension once they are all complete. It is when the piece is fully alive, I feel the life running through me too.

A little Netflix and early night for me. Look after yourself, say yes to rest.

Good night and god bless

Sophie Marie