Helping others

Art, Belief, domestic abuse, Expressions of art, Faith, Growth, Helping, Helping others, Hope, Inspirational cycle, Inspire, Kindness, Nature, Reconnecting, Share yourself, support, writing

Hi all, it’s good to be here. I hope you are all keeping well and if you are currently being challenged as I am then I hope you have some support to keep you on your path.

I think I have a previous post about this however my desire to help people just keeps growing stronger. I support children, teenagers and adults in my work as a mental health counsellor which I love. This is a different kind of desire. This comes from deep down, deep within my soul. When I am going through challenges in my life, my opportunity for growth, this is when the desire burns stronger. I spoke to a lovely friend of mine the other day about my ideas for helping support more people. When I told her some of my ideas she said how kind and selfless they were. I know this was a compliment, however I actually disagree slightly in that on some level I feel that helping in these extra ways will help me also and so can not be purely selfless. I guess the difference now is that I am not trying to make myself ‘feel better’. I just empathise with people and their challenges, especially when those challenges leave you feeling isolated. This is a feeling I have had many times and I know how hard it is. I also now know that reaching out to others is a way of connecting. There is a deeper will to want people to know that by offering what you can, a simple message of encouragement or small token that ‘you are not alone’.

To feel this compassion from people is a feeling that can not be replicated. At Christmas time, my daughter and I were invited to an event held by Harv (domestic abuse charity) where we were shown all the donations that people had left for Christmas presents. It was very emotional for me as it was a very powerful message that people who had never met you wanted you to know that they care, you are in their thoughts and to remind you that you are not alone. There is no greater feeling.

The truth is, no one is alone. We are all connected to one another, to nature, to our universe. We either do not realise this yet or we have become detached, disconnected. The good news is that we can all connect again. Disconnection is temporary and in a way not even real. It is more of a perceived feeling as we can never truly be disconnected to who we are at our core and if we keep that with us always this will always keep us going. I feel the need to reiterate this as it is a very powerful statement. “We can never be disconnected from our core. If we keep that with us always, this will always keep us going”. I love this.

I can feel the flow more now in my words. Sometimes it takes time for the flow, sometimes it comes immediately. I just remember that it comes when it is ready, when I settle into myself and into my thoughts. When I am in the moment, in the here and now and being mindful. I can only be me now.

I just remembered what I started my post about and that was helping others. I am reading a book I got from a charity book shop in Hexham about compassion and it really is helping me cement my desire to help in a bigger way than I currently am. I know there is something a lot bigger in me and the ideas and thoughts are all coming to the forefront. I need to collect all of my ideas and put them together in the best way to showcase empathy, compassion and a willingness to support. I know I will use my art within this as art has got me to where I am now. Art was a huge influence for me. Art helped me to connect to my feelings and to reconnect with myself. Art helped save my life and I owe a lot to the arts.

I am going to put together an inspiration board to collate my ideas and thoughts and see how I can best put forward my plan. I want to show what can be done in your local community, how every little helps and how if we all share a bit of ourselves then we can all make this a better world for us all.

With hope and healing

Sophie Marie xx

Are you good enough?

Embrace true self, God, Good enough, Growth, Happiness, Hope, Inspire, Learning, Meditation, Reconnecting, self improvement, Self love, Share yourself, Transformation, writing

I am writing this from pages from my previous journal. I can’t give it an exact date however it could be a year ago. I wrote about being ‘good enough’ and this is what I wrote. “The good enough is like up past me, up higher than me. I guess I have always been unconsciously and consciously striving to be good enough but never getting there. Getting there is not real. I don’t feel like I am good enough. This makes sense as this is like I am not a ? person. I am not ? I am me. I will never be ? as I am me. I can not get to not real, I can only get to reality. It is like striving for a fantasy. I am struggling to find the right word. As I say it and write about it I see good enough as up there and high up. I can see that when I have got higher up that this will still not be up enough”.

“The thing is, this good enough is never ending. It just goes higher and higher, on and on. What and/or where am I trying to get to? If I am at a certain height, will I be good enough then? Will I be enough then? Will I be satisfied? Will I be happier? If I got to a specific height, what would I be? If I carry on like this I will never be satified. Have I been striving for perfection or have I been striving to be me? Also, I should be satisfied and happy with who I am now. In the here and now and not who I will become. I am who I am now. I am good enough now. Do I believe this?”

“I will always evolve and grow and mature and change, however I will always still be me. I was me when I was born, I am me now. I am who I am and I am good enough as I am now”.

I wrote something that didn’t quite make sense as I read it back however it was about me not feeling good enough and that I felt ‘good enough’ related to someone else. I wanted to write about this today as it is something that I have thought a lot about recently and one which has had a huge impact on me as of late.

I do not know exactly when my mindset changed. As I sit and reflect, I know there was no pinnacle moment of change, no aha moment. There is an accumulation of growth, understanding and spiritual change. It is a result of all the self development work that I have been doing every day for the past few years. Positive changes do not appear from nowhere despite how it may appear sometimes. They are not the result of luck or miracle. They are the result of hard work, dedication and constant striving to be the best that I can be. The difference now is that everything comes natural. What I do is what I want to do. How I express myself is how I wish to express myself. How I live is how I choose to live. I found God, in me and started to open myself up to whatever and however I chose to express myself. I continue to do this.

I am struggling to write this piece today. I do not know whether it is because I am attempting to write from a previous started piece or that is has been a short while since I wrote. I wanted to be honest with myself and you so that we know it is ok not to always write fluently and at ease. The important point is to just write or just do, whatever it may be. Stumble through it sometimes if you need to, it is ok. Give yourself a break from thinking that everything has to automatically flow and sound great the first time you write. I am sure we all have these days, just stay with it and you never know what will materialise. As I write this my words flow easier. I feel this is because I am connecting to my deeper self which is where I thrive. I can feel in myself when I am more at ease with myself and my writing. The words come easier and I am no longer second guessing them. This is when I am natural, my favourite way of being. The only way of being for me.

Being honest with myself and others about what I believe to be true and how I value my own voice has been a huge catalyst in my spiritual journey and how I feel inside. Around this time I started my website and blog and I now express my true voice. I express myself through my writing, art and interiors amongst others and it enables me to connect deeply with myself. I connect with my inner core and with this I am at one with God (myself). All fear is gone in terms of putting myself out there whether through words or art. I do not worry that others will take from me, steal my ideas or anything negative. There is no thought. There just is. There is just doing. This is when I know I am authentic as everything comes naturally. When I overthink or question, I know I am slightly disconnected and everything comes easy when it comes from deep within. When you are connected to God (you) you are connected. This is when the magic happens. The beauty that is you. Just being your true self and all that comes from this way of being. I wish for everyone to reach this way of being, this level of connection. It is not a quick process. It is a lifelong commitment to yourself. If you knew how amazing it felt you would not hesitate to make the commitment. If you do not make a commitment to yourself, no one else will. You are worth it. We all are.

We all have the deep knowing of our worth however deep down it is. This is inherent within us as it is a part of us. We are not searching (although you may think this) for something external to connect with/to and/or complete you. What you think you need/want is inside you. The more you search externally, the colder you are. Think of the game hide and seek. When you get closer you are said to be warmer. The further away you are, you are said to be colder. This rings very true if you really think about it. People that constantly chase the external are not happy and this makes sense as you are further away from what you really want and need. Being further away from yourself and who you are as a person you will be colder as you are less connected. This really does make so much sense to me now. I say it is not a miracle however it actually feels like it. I wonder if all people that have reached this level of connection and being feels the same.

I really do believe that the most important factor in achieving this level of connection to God, your highest sense, is meditation. I still meditate every night although I am going to incorporate daily meditation as I am finding I fall asleep at night before my meditation ends. When I started to listen to motivational speakers and to people that were enlightened/living from a deeper sense of being the one thing that they all had in common was that they all had a daily meditation practice. I believe it is like many things in life, that you can not fully understand the benefits until you see and feel them yourself. When you feel the protective force (can not think of the correct word here) of meditation, you no longer feel alone. You are not alone and you never will be as you always have yourself. This is when the externals of life become a bonus rather than essential/a need.

I know this is a long post. I know I am now writing from my core as I could write and write and never stop. It is free flowing and organic. I am free. You will always be free when you come from within, when you are connected to your spirit. This is life. Pure life.

I know I do not need to get to a specific point to be fulfilled. I am fulfilled now. I am me now. I am connected to myself now. I accept me now, exactly as I am and exactly where I am. I am not just good enough. I am more than good enough. I am me and I am home. There is no place I would rather be.

With life, hope and love

Sophie Marie x

Sharing your multidimensional self

Abstract art, Abstract art for sale, Art, Contemporary abstract art, Share yourself

I know I have come a long way in terms of talking about myself as an artist as I can actually say the words now. Am I all the way there, hell no but I am trying every day and that is the main thing.

I have written a lot over the years about chasing perfection and how this eats away at people (myself included). I have learnt over more recent periods how to not only accept not being perfect or anywhere near but to use what you don’t know to your advantage.

I used to think “I can’t do that until I know more”. “I can’t put that out there until it looks more professional”. “I can’t breathe until I breathe more…”. You get the picture and for anyone (I know there are lots) who lives like this I urge you to say this to yourself often. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You may think this one tiny word has no benefit however used over time can be used to bring you back into the present moment. Mindfulness. It is only when you stop at these points do you give yourself a little time to realise how much you are torturing yourself and for what, for whom?I feel very blessed that I can say with honesty “I use my pain and past experiences as a tool for growth and to become me in all my glory”. I used to hide myself, really hide as I was constantly saying “I need to work on this”, “I need to sort this out”. Being diligent is great however diligence is not constantly waiting for the right time, the right moment, the perfect website. That is stupidity and falls into the mentality of “when I get more… everything will be better, sorted”. Nonsense.

One of the first comments I wrote on my first art site, my then facebook art page was “if you wait until everything is perfect you will never start”. This was a big moment for me and one which has stayed with me ever since. For me I just had to shout that voice down, feel the fear and anxiety and do it anyway. There is no other way.

The true beauty of people is their soul. What makes you sad, happy, desperate, alive? I want to know. I’ll share mine, will you share yours? As I sit and write I know that my power, my true beauty is in my innocence and my vulnerability. It feels nice and kind to see the words, to hear myself say this and most importantly to believe this. What I used to hide from the world, hide from myself I know use and show and share. I do this as my story is my power. My pain is my power. My struggles and frustrations are my power. I am my power and when I connect with myself I radiate something special to the world. Wow get me today, you go girl.

What I love about you all are the parts of you that you hide, that you are ashamed of. Real and raw are two words that I use to describe myself and these are the characteristics that are so unique to you and so beautiful. You exactly as you are is what makes you beautiful. I don’t want to know how amazing you are now, I want to know your pain and struggles and what makes you get through the day. I want to know your reality. I want to know what made you you and what keeps you you. I want to know all the parts that make you your unique self.

One of my favourite pieces of my original art is titled “Double headed beauty” (see gallery) and with this piece I include my caption “Why be one dimensional when you can be your true multidimensional self”. What makes you unique is what makes you more beautiful and I work hard every day to share more of myself with you in the hope of inspiring you to do the same.

My art is very unique. People need to see me, to hear me and get the whole experience from me. My abstract pieces are a reflection of all that is missing from the world and what I hope to grow in the world. I want to share these experiences with you so you too can connect with me, my art and consequently yourself. That is when life really begins.

I have unique ideas about my art. I have created it and only I know and understand it. I would like to invite you into my inner world so you can get to know me more. I want to share my experience with you and I want to continuously work on my confidence as an artist and promote my art to sell. It is always a work in progress for me however I believe in me so I know it will happen. If I keep following my creative path and living my creative life my work as an artist will grow. Use what fits, lose what doesn’t. I find inspiration from other artists, not necessarily other abstract artists just artists in general. I know that when I truly connect with an artist it is because I can see and feel their soul and that for me is a magical experience.

When you connect with an artist you connect with their art and vice versa as the connection is within two people, two souls and what those souls represent and radiate. I used to be scared and worried that if I sold my art I would be selling myself and this was not something I could detach from. I am now further along in my own spiritual practice and my thinking on this is very different. I want to sell my art now as they no longer belong to me. I have learnt, grown, healed and developed internally through the experience of the art creation and now it is time to set them free so you too can be set free.

With a huge smile on my face and immense pride at what just came out of my soul.

Immense love

Sophie Marie x