Seeing light at the end of the tunnel

Baby steps, Beauty, Embrace true self, enge, Fear, Follow own path, Good enough, Growth, Interior design, Life, Light, Organisation, Patience, Small steps, Uncategorized, Unique, Write

Hi all, I wanted to write today about the importance and effectiveness of baby steps and slowly chipping away at a job/project. I have been working on our home since we moved in over three years ago. I remember having so many creative ideas, my creative juices were not just flowing they were overflowing. I knew, or thought I knew exactly what I wanted and how I wanted it to be done. I also fell foul to my impatience. A heady mix of enthusiasm, passion and excitement rolled up in a large blanket of impatience. The truth is, we are all impatient at times. Some people decide they want to lose weight and are disillusioned when they don’t lose what they want to by a given time. Others decide to take on a project and wonder what is wrong with them when they don’t achieve certain results in a timely manner. We are all guilty of wanting quick results, a faster turnaround or set ourselves unrealistic goals which all inevitably fail. People like to see what they want and with this they only see the end result and how to get there in the least amount of time. This method, although may work in some areas temporarily, only serve to end in disappointment as it doesn’t have long standing sustainability.

People are lazy. I don’t mean to sound harsh but it is true. People like instant gratification. When it doesn’t happen the result is blame. We blame ourselves and judge ourselves harshly or we blame someone else for our lack of progress. The truth is, long lasting results can only be achieved with a long standing method. Sounds simple. In theory yes so why do so many people still do it. Why do we set ourselves up for a fall. Why do we think getting something quick is the best way, a good way. Do we think we are more intelligent if we do it quicker or are we trying to prove something to someone else. If we get there before others, does this mean we are better, more worthy. No. If you want to be quicker, there will always be someone before you that has already done it quicker. It follows the same lines of there will always be someone smarter, thinner, taller, than you. If you think of it in this context you will never win. In this way, there is always someone else involved and when we try and compete, be better we are basically saying that we alone are not good enough. I am not saying do not have goals or strive to be more, just use yourself as the goal and build your own scale of progress.

Despite living in the same world, we were born with unique skills and capabilities. We need to use these and learn to understand that life was not created to follow a path. You were given life. You are unique and as such you need to learn that your life is also unique. Society tells us that we go to school then college, university, get a great job, get married, have a child and all in that order. When life doesn’t go exactly this way people wonder what is wrong with them. There is nothing wrong with you. You may be just following the wrong path. Your path may not go in that order or even have those aspects within it. People like to know what they are doing and where they are going. They do not like the unknown. People fear the unknown, it creates uncomfortable feelings which people want to run from. Anything unknown will always have an element of fear this is natural. The only way to get past this is to try. Once you have done it once fear loses its power as it is no longer an unknown. Each time you do it becomes less of an unknown and more of a known. This is when you have the power. Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, we need fear to guide us and to challenge us in our thinking and doing. As scary as this may sound to some, there is no plan or rule book to life and what you have heard is from fairytales or from black and white thinking. The world is not black and white. The world is full of colour, accents, shades and tones and the only way to see the amazing variations in colour is to start looking at yourself and understanding that you have a unique path which only you know. It is up to you to start looking at what feels right to you, what fits with you and how that can fit into your life/path. There is no life path, only your path.

Sophie Marie

When you start to do this, you learn to understand the beauty in small steps. When I started decorating and designing our home I decided in my head that I would complete the whole house in a few months. As I write this now I laugh. My creativity was there, my passion and excitement however what I failed to do was to look at achievability. Was this achievable? I was passionate, would this not help? I was capable, did this not count for something? Yes, of course these all help to achieve but were my goals achievable? No, of course not. I thought I could because it is what I wanted. Pure and simple. I wanted it done quick and I thought that was enough. How funny. Quite ridiculous to write and read this. We all do it. It doesn’t make us bad people or stupid, it makes us human. What is so powerful is when you learn the beauty in seeing your own progress.

I regularly have to stop and reflect on how different our home is compared to how it was when we bought it. I sometimes get impatient and beat myself up for not yet having a finished home. This is when I have to stop and look around. Simply look at the beautiful, opulent colour on our walls. The stunning lamp that sits beautifully in an alcove next to a yellow photo frame. This is one of my favourite areas and I created it. It was bare, then I painted it. I then spent time looking for the perfect piece (perfect to me) and patiently waited until the right piece presented itself to me. I did it. It took time, there was no quick process and I was very patient at times.

I am not interested in buying for the sake of it or doing a rush buy. I am only interested in buying what is right for our home. All the pieces match my personality which is paramount to me. We live in our home, not a home. There is a huge difference. A friend came to mine Saturday and I was able to show her a few new things that we have invested in since she was last here. It gave me another chance to show the progress and for my friend to see where the house is now. They also get a chance to share in the beauty of my process. Saturday was a big day for me as it was the first day in a while that I could see the accumulation of all my/our hard work. I am including my daughter here as she does help me and spends time helping to organise her bedroom so that she knows where everything is and all her belongings have a place. She puts up with me when impatience kicks in and I get overexcited and embarrassing about storage.

It is hard to explain how it felt. It was a deep feeling, one that hit me hard in a nice way. I was in the kitchen and it just came over me. I realised how most places in the house are organised now. All the baby steps have taken form. Each drawer I tidied out, each item I found a home for and countless bags I gave to charity. The baby steps are the beauty steps. You can not always see the benefit of each small task however it is the accumulation of tiny steps that has led me here. Led me to this warm, touching feeling. This feeling of immense pride and shock. Shock that I can see what a difference there is. It feels like it has just happened but it hasn’t. The baby steps have added up and there is now a massive clearing. The overriding feeling has stayed with me, I can feel it strongly as I write. It feels light. It feels clear, ethereal. It is a beautiful feeling. The beauty of light.

Go and take your first baby step. Where will it take you?

With hope and love

Sophie Marie

Letting go to reach a higher level of being

Creative brain, Growth, Letting go, Organisation, Reconnecting, self improvement, Stuck, writing

How many different emotions have you experienced since yesterday? Me, tons and I am currently feeling a variety of things which is causing some discomfort. I think the biggest feeling washing over me right now is that of something being stuck in me that I want to rid myself of. Sounds weird I know but try and stay with me as I try and stay with myself. My brain is amazing, well I think so and it is also annoying. I have always told people that for me my brain is a blessing and a curse (I am sure all you creative individuals are with me on that one).

To have a brain that will not just settle for the standard, the everyday sort of thoughts. Hell no, my brain is so active today that I have worked so hard already and also have not done one simple thing. Are you still with me? What I mean by this is that I have thought about a million different ideas, creative thoughts, what I want to do, what I need to do, what I need to get out of my head, how I need (or is it want or both) to make my site look even more professional. Aargh. Too much.

I have had a very creative week with new pieces of art, more interior styling and decorating in my house, new creative ideas and now I am at the too many thoughts I can’t focus stage which I know every creative feels and probably hates. It is an infuriating stage, you get fed up with yourself, I feel like I am working so hard but not getting anywhere at all and so I try harder to no avail. This is when I hear the words “stop” screaming out at myself. I need to practice what I preach and just stop.

I felt a familiar feeling today which is when I feel like there is loads of stuff inside me, screaming to be let out but for some reason I keep it in and it pushes harder and screams louder at me. Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.

I took this today that I need to write and here I am. It is a feeling that there are lots of things inside me that need to come out and at the time I theredo not know how they need to come out, just that they need to come out. I feel stifled, untidy, there is a feeling of dirtiness like I need to get more organising done. I know it is all psychological as I know my mind and my body and how it talks to me or tries to talk to me.

For a few weeks I have felt that I am moving on to another level again, moving further up. When this happens it is as though there is a mountain of junk built up that needs to be disposed of. In reality this is not the case as my home (apart from my washing up that needs doing) is tidy, organised and is extremely clean and fresh after I spent the weekend cleaning and creating equilibrium. I get a rush of feelings where I feel the need to dispose of things. As I get to a new level in my personal development, there are things that are then just hanging around, flapping about loose, just getting in the way, tripping me up and needing to go. I can’t simply tip myself upside down and shake the redundant out of me, however that would be so much simpler. For me that equates to “ooh what can I get rid of”.

It is my minds way of telling me that I have reached a newer state of being and I need to let go of emotions/feelings/times/experiences that are no longer serving me and are literally tripping me up. Around this time there is a state of unease, it is uncomfortable but necessary. I am aware that not everyone will experience it like me as I am unique to my own path. I am sure people that continually work on their own being, their own self development, in a constant state of evolving will experience similarities.

The uncomfortable feeling is one where I want to cry a bit and scream. The tears are not of sadness, more of frustration and as I type more I let out a massive sigh. Ooh, that feels better. I feel easier in myself, freer so I know what I needed and by giving that to myself I am able to help myself which in turn gives me my power back.

Having a creative mind and the personality type that I have (INFP) in case you were wondering I am always at great depth. For some people they may see this as me being lost in my own world and there is often a negative connotation with that. People say that to children a lot like being in their own world is a bad thing. Why is being in your own world bad? Who else’s world should you and I be in?

It is easy for people to understand what is in front of them, what is known to them, what they can easily follow however the unknown to anyone is difficult. We need to see greatness in difference, greatness in the unknown as well as fear. It is only when you are willing and or brave enough to enter the unknown that you start to change, to grow and to feel more. Until you know me better, I am all about the feelings. I live at great depth, with great soul and I connect with nature, communication and anything and everything that is real, honest and alive. This is how my world is. I can not be myself and operate on a superficial level as this is not my level. For some this is too much and this is fine. For others they find this interesting, intriguing. For the remaining few where are you? I need to connect. I need to be me and so I write, I create and this is how I interact with the world and myself.

The more I write and follow my creative path the more I have to continue. You know it is your life path as it is not only a want but more strongly a need. Like needing air to breathe. Creativity is my oxygen. To have the ability to express myself in numerous creative ways is a blessing. For all the struggles it creates, I would not change me for a moment. I am as always truly blessed for every part of me and my life and my brain. It is creativity that brings life to the world. I don’t choose to exist in the world, I choose to live. Do you?

With much love and kindness

Sophie Marie x