Letting go to reach a higher level of being

Creative brain, Growth, Letting go, Organisation, Reconnecting, self improvement, Stuck, writing

How many different emotions have you experienced since yesterday? Me, tons and I am currently feeling a variety of things which is causing some discomfort. I think the biggest feeling washing over me right now is that of something being stuck in me that I want to rid myself of. Sounds weird I know but try and stay with me as I try and stay with myself. My brain is amazing, well I think so and it is also annoying. I have always told people that for me my brain is a blessing and a curse (I am sure all you creative individuals are with me on that one).

To have a brain that will not just settle for the standard, the everyday sort of thoughts. Hell no, my brain is so active today that I have worked so hard already and also have not done one simple thing. Are you still with me? What I mean by this is that I have thought about a million different ideas, creative thoughts, what I want to do, what I need to do, what I need to get out of my head, how I need (or is it want or both) to make my site look even more professional. Aargh. Too much.

I have had a very creative week with new pieces of art, more interior styling and decorating in my house, new creative ideas and now I am at the too many thoughts I can’t focus stage which I know every creative feels and probably hates. It is an infuriating stage, you get fed up with yourself, I feel like I am working so hard but not getting anywhere at all and so I try harder to no avail. This is when I hear the words “stop” screaming out at myself. I need to practice what I preach and just stop.

I felt a familiar feeling today which is when I feel like there is loads of stuff inside me, screaming to be let out but for some reason I keep it in and it pushes harder and screams louder at me. Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.

I took this today that I need to write and here I am. It is a feeling that there are lots of things inside me that need to come out and at the time I theredo not know how they need to come out, just that they need to come out. I feel stifled, untidy, there is a feeling of dirtiness like I need to get more organising done. I know it is all psychological as I know my mind and my body and how it talks to me or tries to talk to me.

For a few weeks I have felt that I am moving on to another level again, moving further up. When this happens it is as though there is a mountain of junk built up that needs to be disposed of. In reality this is not the case as my home (apart from my washing up that needs doing) is tidy, organised and is extremely clean and fresh after I spent the weekend cleaning and creating equilibrium. I get a rush of feelings where I feel the need to dispose of things. As I get to a new level in my personal development, there are things that are then just hanging around, flapping about loose, just getting in the way, tripping me up and needing to go. I can’t simply tip myself upside down and shake the redundant out of me, however that would be so much simpler. For me that equates to “ooh what can I get rid of”.

It is my minds way of telling me that I have reached a newer state of being and I need to let go of emotions/feelings/times/experiences that are no longer serving me and are literally tripping me up. Around this time there is a state of unease, it is uncomfortable but necessary. I am aware that not everyone will experience it like me as I am unique to my own path. I am sure people that continually work on their own being, their own self development, in a constant state of evolving will experience similarities.

The uncomfortable feeling is one where I want to cry a bit and scream. The tears are not of sadness, more of frustration and as I type more I let out a massive sigh. Ooh, that feels better. I feel easier in myself, freer so I know what I needed and by giving that to myself I am able to help myself which in turn gives me my power back.

Having a creative mind and the personality type that I have (INFP) in case you were wondering I am always at great depth. For some people they may see this as me being lost in my own world and there is often a negative connotation with that. People say that to children a lot like being in their own world is a bad thing. Why is being in your own world bad? Who else’s world should you and I be in?

It is easy for people to understand what is in front of them, what is known to them, what they can easily follow however the unknown to anyone is difficult. We need to see greatness in difference, greatness in the unknown as well as fear. It is only when you are willing and or brave enough to enter the unknown that you start to change, to grow and to feel more. Until you know me better, I am all about the feelings. I live at great depth, with great soul and I connect with nature, communication and anything and everything that is real, honest and alive. This is how my world is. I can not be myself and operate on a superficial level as this is not my level. For some this is too much and this is fine. For others they find this interesting, intriguing. For the remaining few where are you? I need to connect. I need to be me and so I write, I create and this is how I interact with the world and myself.

The more I write and follow my creative path the more I have to continue. You know it is your life path as it is not only a want but more strongly a need. Like needing air to breathe. Creativity is my oxygen. To have the ability to express myself in numerous creative ways is a blessing. For all the struggles it creates, I would not change me for a moment. I am as always truly blessed for every part of me and my life and my brain. It is creativity that brings life to the world. I don’t choose to exist in the world, I choose to live. Do you?

With much love and kindness

Sophie Marie x

Stillness

Immediacy or lack thereof

accountability, Immediacy, self improvement, writing

I want to write today about something that I have struggled with for years. This has not only caused me wasted time, energy and stress/anxiety but I have also suffered financially as a result. What I am talking about is immediacy.

The definition that keeps popping up and one from the Oxford dictionary is “the quality of bringing one into direct and instant involvement with something, giving rise to a sense of urgency or excitement”.

For me. my ‘excuse’ is that I am too busy doing other things to stop doing those and focus on something that needs my attention now. My brain knows that with certain things that is what I need to do however I still do not do it. To be respectful to myself, I have to say that I often try and challenge this and vow to be more immediate and not let things pile up. I have good intentions but they do not always transpire hence I am sat at my writing bureau (ooh exciting to say that) surrounded by papers that are on my sorting pile.

Now, for anyone reading right now I have to say that I have recently completed my tax return for my counselling practice and with that I organized, checked and filed my first three years of business away. All neat and tidy, receipts and invoices in check, all accounted for and as organised as could be which makes me very proud.

What I am mainly talking about is little bits of paper with things noted down, invoices that need checking, making sure I have been paid correctly. No ‘big’ jobs, more like itty bitty jobs that get left, put on the to do pile, get left at the bottom of my work bag or other bag. It then takes me twice as long because I have not dealt with them in the moment. That missed day then turns into two and before I realise a full week has passed (or a few). Does this ever happen to you?

It does frustrate me especially as I am getting the rest of my life so much more organised. Having a place for everything and having tidy, minimal drawers. The frustration I feel is that it makes life harder for me. I make my life harder and I promised myself about a year or two ago that I would stop doing this.

No need to start worrying, I am not on a beat myself up mission. I am merely wanting to get out in the open an area that is still an issue for me. Take an example from approximately one year ago (yes one year). I sold a fragile item to someone and had to have it posted. It apparently got damaged. I use the word apparently as I always had a weird, gut feeling about not posting it to this person however I went against my gut and this is what happened.

Jumping forward, I kept putting the refund papers in my bag and then getting them out. I did this many times. These papers were at the bottom of many bags. “I will do it today” I would say and never did. Then the papers sat on my studio stairs waiting for god to sort them I think, who knows. All I know is that those papers sat on those stairs for months despite me always thinking “I’m never going to get that refund now” and despite really needing that money. Still I did not deal with those papers until I sat at my bureau and got out the papers today.

I looked at them and realised to my horror that this was from March 2018. There is a three month time scale for refunds and even though I would have a go I can not find where the photos are stored. This leads me to think “well it’s your own fault” and there is a feeling of justice that this is my consequence for not sorting this out straight away. I guess this sounds a bit like beating myself up but I guess it is foolish to lose money you can not afford to lose.

Back to the here and now and I want to get better at this, I want to try (again) and this is all that I can do. I will say that I am very diligent in the work that I do when I start the ball rolling which is a positive, I just need to learn how to start rolling those balls earlier.

With much hope and encouragement (and hopefully no more financial loss)

Sophie Marie xx

Is your home a reflection of ‘you’ or a copy of the latest trends

Art, Inspire, Interior Decoration, Interior design

Here is my most loved piece of furniture standing proud against the depth of the purple wall, my gallery wall. In order to show the piece in its glory I have chosen a few personal items to bring it to life. The colour of the green in the plants looks stunning with the purple and picks up the green in this original, abstract piece above. The striking orange sits beautifully with the other items, the real treasure being how none of the items are lost. You can see each piece separately and the effect of the whole story.

Photo frames are of different design, all bringing to the table something different, something unique, me. Try not to be afraid of mixing styles up, this is what creates visual impact. I do not normally use more than one of the same item however in this example a standalone plant of this size would not have created the same impact.

I do not believe in matching in the basic sense of the word, this makes a home look ‘uniform’. This vintage bear I found at a car boot sale, at only a few pounds looks perfect stood next to the photo frame. My answer to a lot of my interiors and to my life in general is “why not”.

Interiors should be about personality and all of the areas of your home should show yours. I think a truly beautiful, inspiring home is one where you walk in and you immediately know who the home belongs to. You can see that person or those people in it.

Your home should not be a ‘show’ home, it should be ‘your’ home. Sophie Marie

If you walk around your home, do you see things or do you see people? Things being used to describe items that are ‘in vogue’ or the latest colour. It is apparent when this has happened as you will see lots of that type of item and lots of items in that particular colour, overkill.

Less is always more and although there are a few items on this sideboard, the items are carefully chosen to create a feeling of oneness, happiness and in keeping with me. The people in a home should always be at the forefront of how and what you decorate or design not just material things for the sake of decoration. If you only have one or two items of decoration that you love, just use those. You do not have to ‘fill’ a room, doing so will lose character and this is the essence of what you are looking to create.

I believe that is when you go from a house to a home. A home is filled with you, the people that you love and all of your personalities echoing in each room.

Next time you buy something for your home ask yourself “do I like it or is it me?”. I guarantee if it is you it will be cherished and kept for a long time and not updated with the next season.

The world is not throw away so why should your home be. Sophie Marie

Original, abstract piece available for sale (see Gallery)

‘Somewhere’  Acrylic on canvas 30 x 24.5″ £75

 

With inspiration

 

Sophie Marie

 

Intimate Interiors

Art, Colour, Interior design

I have often been at a loss as to how to decorate this intimate space under my stairs and it was only after I moved some furniture around at Christmas time that I uncovered the beauty that is this area.

The depth of colour in the purple walls is a stunning backdrop to a couple of carefully chosen items displayed on a beautiful vintage writing bureau. My bureau has very special emotion attached to it as I always remembered one in my nanna and grandads house and a special feeling that it created in my memories.

The spotlight shines down on the front of the bureau, showing its true wood in all its brilliance. The copper colour radiates my being creating a warm, enveloping hug. To finish off this beautiful area a bespoke, abstract art piece hangs above, the dramatic yellow in the piece as echoed in the angel below jumps off the wall and transcends you into another world.

Original, abstract art piece created by Sophie Marie

Acrylic Resin on canvas 24″ x 18.5″ £100

Delivery costs dependent on location Paypal payments on home page.

Taking Risks to Transform

Faith, Transformation

I have been thinking for a while that I need a change of hair colour and yesterday was the day that I stopped talking about it and just did it. I looked at this colour and it stopped me in my tracks. I had a moment and in this moment I knew this was the only one that I wanted. It wasn’t a colour I had ever spoken of or thought about however it was something that I felt in that moment, in my gut and I knew it was the one. Anything that causes that deep, gut feeling is always the one. It wasn’t without fear and I did fret a bit waiting for the colour to develop (pretty instant in fact) just in case my hair turned green and or dropped out (no, I did not wait the 48 hrs as advised) but here I am and here my new hair is in all its glory and all in one piece.

There are many times in life that you have to just go with what is in your gut, what creates a deep feeling. For me it is a knowing. I have come to know that despite incorporated fear, if it gets me straight away, punches me straight in the stomach that I just need to power through the fear and do it as it is the way forward for me.

My hair is quite a transformation, the deepest of blue with a richness and opulence that envelops me. I love it, really love it. I keep grinning and I had such a good time last night at home arranging more of my artwork and I completed a new large art piece also which just added to my feeling of oneness, freedom and of being transported to a higher place. When I am going through a period of change I can feel it, it is tangible and a little scary if I am being truly honest. I can actually feel myself moving on to a different place, a shift. There is a feeling that I am letting go of something and with this is a feeling of slight disconnect for a moment, I almost lose breath for a few moments. It felt safe and slow which helped the process and despite the slight unease that goes alongside it I was surrounded by an abundance of peace and protection (alongside the soundtrack of A Star Is Born on repeat).

I know when I am stagnant and when you are stagnant you die. You have to be constantly evolving and in a state of transformation. It is like hitting an impass, nowhere else to go and you keep hitting something that is not moving. It is hard and there is no other way to go so you have to take the new path that you have been carving out for yourself (even when you don’t realise you have been). There are always crossroads in life and I have reached many. For me, it is about leaving the old paths behind (with memories and experiences in tow) in order to face head on my new path even if I don’t yet know what is on it. I believe if I am really being truly honest, at my depth I do know, yet I am scared. I know it is what I want, where I want to go, how I want to travel, however the fear of the unknown soil tugs at me and tries to make me stay. I don’t want to stay, I don’t belong there anymore. I have moved on. I have grown. I have evolved and I am happy. I choose my own life path and I will take my own path along with the fear and see where it takes me. As my daughter and I say when we are about to do something new and exciting, eek.

I hope you keep with me on my journey. I send you all encouragement and love on yours.

Love and blessings

Sophie Marie